Yesterday, I read this awesome blog about tips on how women can stop self negative talk. I loved it so much I decided to share it with you. I hope I don’t get in trouble : ; 0 ) This is from Fit and Female Blog.
Stopping Negative Self-Talk
For reasons that I don’t fully understand, most women (to one extent or another) feel compelled to focus on their perceived physical imperfections. Put a few women in a room and invariably the conversation will turn to them pointing out (to all the other women) everything that is “wrong” with their body.
Sometimes it actually turns into a competition about who has the most to complain about. We say that we are: too fat, too bony, too busty, too flat, our butts are too big, too flat, too small, too flabby, our hair is too curly, too straight, too frizzy, too flat….it’s endless.
The real tragedy here is that we aren’t just speaking this way to other women — we are speaking this way to OURSELVES — all the time. Whether it takes the form of looking at images of other women in magazines and telling ourselves how we don’t match up…or staring at our various body parts in the mirror and analyzing what’s wrong with them…or some nasty comment we make to ourselves when we step on the scale and don’t see Kate Moss’ body weight pop up (funny that)…ultimately it is all very poisonous to our own self-esteem.
So okay, you’re not “perfect”…I’m not “perfect”…most models (truly, I’ve trained them) are not “perfect”. And that’s a good thing, because our “imperfections” are often the things that make us more interesting, that give us our own unique brand of beauty. Think of some celebrity examples…Cindy Crawford’s mole…J-Lo’s derriere…Angelina’s lips…Jennifer Aniston’s nose…Sarah Jessica’s hair. They are all unusual features, trademarks that make these folks memorable.
One way of breaking the cycle of garbage self-talk is to put yourself on a “diet” where you vow to stop. It is a contest with yourself where the goal is to link 30 days in row where you avoid all negative self-talk.
The idea is simple. The second you realize you are saying (or thinking) something negative about your body you need to stop — an you go back to day one. You keep on doing it until you can do it for 30 days without screwing up. The idea is after 30 days it becomes your new habit.
And just like with a food diet, you will probably find that there are triggers that you will need to avoid in order to be successful. This could range from not reading women’s magazines, or not speaking with certain people, or not getting on the scale, or leaving that bikini alone (you know the one that didn’t fit you when you it bought on sale 5 years ago but for some reason you feel compelled to try on whenever you’re bloated, PMSing and on a chocolate binge– come on you’ve been there, too ;-).
Whatever it is for you, try to isolate it and avoid it. Or at the very least the minute you start to “go there” and bash yourself…do whatever you have to do to stop. You have a minute to cut it off and before it takes hold and make another choice…if not you’re back to day one.
So give it a shot if you dare. It’s not easy, but it is very powerful. In fact, if you can do this for 30 days, I guarantee you that you will:
- Feel infinitely better about yourself
- Realize that you are in control of what you chose to think and how you “speak” to yourself
- Know what things typically “set you off” and figure out strategies to either deal with them effectively or ignore them entirely